Which style of parenting do you follow? Do you know or are you steadfast in your approach? Very little else causes so much anxiety, frustration an fallings-out with other parents, but the way in which you rear your child. There are hundreds of ways that you can raise your child and however you decide to tackle this dilemma will raise an eyebrow from another parent. Scotmum gives you the overview of the most popular and controversial methods around today and asks: what kind of parent are you?
According to psychologists, there are four broad styles of parenting:
1. Indulgent
2. Authoritarian
3. Authoritative
4. Univolved
What is clear from extensive research is that the manner in which parents choose to raise their children has a direct impact on the socialisation of the child. Parental interaction with children is key to the way in which a child may build their own relationships and form their own goals and aspirations throughout their life. Make so mistake, this parenting lark is no game. But how do you know if you are doing the right thing? Are you prepared to leave your child to cry itself to sleep because you don't want them to be molly-coddled or would you prefer to have them stuck to your side whilst you hoover in order to make them feel lived and secure? It is a difficult decision, and one that many parents take very seriously indeed, whereas others, just 'go with the flow'.
Here is a run down of some of the different styles of parenting:
- Gina Ford's Contented Little Baby: This is among the most controversial parenting styles around. Gina Ford is a former maternity nurse hailing from the Scottish Borders. She says suggests that her philosophy is "common sense". Over a million copies of her book have been sold and it has been translated into four different languages and is now supported by Gina's website. It is popular among so many people as it offers a routine for babies from the day they are born. Gina advocates quite a strict regime by setting babies clear times for feeding and sleeping. Her methods are controversial as some people believe that babies should not be left to cry at such a young age and that her routine is far too rigid.
- Attachment Parenting: This is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with care givers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well being. The principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment. Criticisms of this style of parenting focus on the strain that such demands place on parents and that the theory is not supported by conclusive research. In addition, there are dangers associated with co-sleeping.
- Dr Spock: You'd be forgiven if you thought that this might be some kind of sci-fi style of parenting, however this theory is based on an idea by Dr Benjamin Spock. In 1946, Spock published his book The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, which became a bestseller. By 1998 it had sold more than 50 million copies. It has been translated into 39 languages. Its revolutionary message to mothers was that "you know more than you think you do." Spock was the first pediatrician to study psychoanalysis to try to understand children's needs and family dynamics. His ideas about childcare influenced several generations of parents to be more flexible and affectionate with their children, and to treat them as individuals, whereas the previous conventional wisdom had been that child rearing should focus on building discipline, and that, e.g., babies should not be "spoiled" by picking them up when they cried. Spock has been heavily criticised for promoting babies sleeping on their abdomens and that his baby plan of instant gratification of needs had a negative impact on the child's later development.
There are hundreds more theories for you to choose from, or maybe you won't. Maybe you will choose or have chosen to parent in your own style. You probably use a little bit of each of the theories above as and when you need to. What you should be certain of, however, is that whatever you decide to do, another parent will tell you you are doing the wrong thing. Ignore them - as long as you show your child love and attention you are half way there.
For more information on the theories above, click on the follow links:
Do you have an opinion on this issue? If so, tell us what you think on the Scotmum forum
