Scotmum is proud to support working mums and is keen to bring you a different, inspirational mum on a regular basis so that you can see how they manage to attain that elusive work/life balance. This week, Scotmum interviews Kate Holden, 35. Kate lives in Edinburgh with her husband and two daughters aged 4 and (almost) 2.
What is your profession and how many hours per week do you work?
I am a chartered accountant; previously employed for three days a week I'm now working for myself for somewhere between 14 - 21 hours per week.
Could you describe a typical day in your life?
A blur would describe most days in my life! Currently I am focused on marketing my company as I have recently left part-time employment to set up on my own. I have recently launched my website www.virtuallytherefinance.com .The children are in nursery two days a week; aside from that time I fit pieces of work into the evenings, and sneaky times of the day when they're watching a bit of "downtime" TV! On a nursery day I'm up at about half six; with my husband's help we all gallop through the morning hurdles of dressing, breakfasting, last minute nappy changing and car loading by about 8. I drop them at nursery and collapse with my laptop into the waiting arms of a starbucks americano to jumpstart the day. I usually spend about two hours mailing and calling clients before heading home to do some more focused word/excel work. I quite often have a meeting in the day which I'll work around, and I pick the children up at about five. We then have the two hour dance around teatime, Gigglebiz, bathtime and storytime complete with full negotiation and bribary to spice it all up a bit, and by about half seven both are usually asleep. I then do about another hour of work while also doing the usual mum jobs of tidying, putting a load of washing on, tending to the dishwasher and cooking something for our dinner. My husband is home by about 8 and we eat, chat and usually collapse in front of the TV for an hour; if nothing good is on we resort to an episode of the Wire: we're newbies to the box-set culture but have been quickly converted! And bed by 10 on a school night!
What do you feel are the pros and cons of being a working mother?
The pros are the huge feeling of satisfaction of having something grown up to do which you're good at, a feeling of "self" rather than just "mum" or "wife", a sense of ownership of an element of your life, and a road to the future when the demands of motherhood will not be quite so all consuming and which might otherwise suddenly seem a little empty of activity
The con is mainly perma-guilt. do they like nursery? are they too young for nursery? am i damaging them by not giving them my "all"? etc etc And if work is not satisfying or fulfilling then it feels as if you're working simply to pay the nursery bills which is emotionally very hard to deal with and is part of the reason that I set up on my own.
Why did you decide to branch out and work for yourself?
There were two main reasons: I didn't feel that my career was moving in the right direction at my last place of employment for a number of reasons and I found this depressing and unmotivating. I felt that moving the ownership of my career back into my own hands would be the right way to set out of a rut, and emotionally it has been totally freeing and an amazing experience. The second reason was that I knew that next year I would need more flexibilty with my hours of work due to my eldest starting school, and working for myself will hopefully afford me that flexibility.
What would be your top tip for working mums in order to cope with the demands of their day to day lives?
Give yourself a break; emotionally and physically. Emotionally, try to not be ridden by any feelings of guilt: children tend to thrive in nursery or other child-care arrangements and you're feeling the separation a lot harder than they are. There will be a reason that you're working: whether it is financial or another motivation, the reason will be valid because you will have thought through your decision. So try to not give yourself a hard time about it. Physically, take five minutes every now and then, whether it is a lunch break or a coffee in front of email. We are our own worst bosses in lots of ways and managing a family as well as a job is exhausting. Do both well by being kind to yourself. And ask for help when you need it.
You can visit Kate's website at www.virtuallytherefinance.com and read her regular blog at www.balancingbookswhileherdingcats.blogspot.com
